BLENDING CULTURES

One of the things I have always enjoyed about planning weddings is the opportunity to witness different cultures celebrating a marriage.  Blending those cultures is very commonplace, as couples are not always from the same part of the world, the same religion, the same race.  When you are planning your wedding, with a partner of a different culture, it is important to respect and include pieces of both cultures.  Whether incorporating traditions, ceremonies or foods from each, make sure you are not leaving out the things that make your marriage unique and special.  I have done lots of mulitcultural weddings over the years.  Here are three that really stand out as being all inclusive and respectful of both cultures.

Mike and Mimi wanted both families to feel special on their wedding day.  Mike is from a big Irish Catholic family and Mimi is Chinese.  Her family was also Catholic, so the ceremony was in a beautiful Gothic church in the Fairmount section of Philadelphia.  They decided to incorporate Mimi's Chinese heritage in the food and also with a tea ceremony with her parents.  Mimi wore a beautiful modern wedding gown for the ceremony, then they both donned traditional Chinese outfits for the reception.  There was a modified Chinese wedding banquet for dinner, which was very interesting to plan, as I learned what all the symbolism of each dish was.  And, we had Chef Joe Poon manning the wok- entertaining for the guests.  Everyone had a great time and both families felt included in the day.

Phi and Nhi are both Vietnamese. But, as the families came, one from North Viet Nam and one from south Viet Nam, this made for a challenging and very long day.  It also created some personal challenges for the couple, as both were from the same country, but from very different cultures within that country.   We started the day early and first headed to Phi's family home, where there was a traditional wedding ceremony.  The dining room was adorned with tributes to the ancestors and the boys lined up outside with gifts for the bride and her family.  Then it was off to a Catholic mass, said in Vietnamese.  And, finally to the groom's parent's home to officially welcome the bride into the family.  After all of the ceremony, it was off to a full on Chinese Wedding Banquet for 500 guests.  My biggest challenge of the day- making sure that only the invited guests were allowed to enter.  In this culture, invited guests often invite their own guests to accompany them.  I had a detailed list of who could and could not be ushered into the banquet.  At the end of the day, this was a very happy union.

Joy and Bob were joining the Thai and Korean cultures.  Their wedding ceremony had components of both cultures.  But, their wedding was a very modern affair.  Though many of Bob's female relatives wore traditional Korean garb, the bride and groom opted for a thoroughly modern take on their attire.  Even with this, the respect for the union of two cultures played an important part in the day.

There is no road map for blending cultures on your wedding day, or taking a tradition from your ancestors to make a statement about who you are and where you came from.  The important thing is to discuss it, know what each of you cares about and how you can celebrate the two families coming together.  I've learned plenty over the years about culutral components to a wedding and the traditions that go along with that.  As I said when I started this post, its one of the best things about this job.

BRIDAL SHOWERS

Finding the right venue for the bridal shower can be more stressful than finding the venue for the wedding.  Do you rent a private dining room in a restaurant?  Find a venue with ambiance and pay a rental fee, in addition to the price per person?  How many guests can the venue accomodate?  Is there parking?  All of these questions come up in the mix.  So, here are a few tips to help you along the way.

  Most restaurants can only hold about 50 people.  So, if you are inviting a large group, look for a larger venue.  

Where are the guests coming from?  Find a nice midpoint that is convenient for everyone.  

A private venue may charge a rental fee.  Remeber to add that into the total cost.  And, make sure to ask if there is an on site caterer or if you have to find your own.  

What is included in the price per person?  Are tables, chairs, linens, etc included?  How about tax and gratuity?  Read the contract before you decide.  No one likes hidden costs.  

And, when decorating, think of ways to decorate without using flowers.  With "green events" trending, there are lots of ways to decorate with other things.  

And, finally, the value in what you are getting should always come first.  Your dream location may be on the pricier side.  But, in the long run, the value of what is included and the convenience, quality and ambience may be worth it.  Questions?  Contact me for more information or to get some help finding your venue for your favorite bride!

NOT A FLOWER GIRL

Flowers are a huge part of most weddings.  But, what if you don't like flowers?  What if you are allergic to flowers?  Or, what if you are looking for a more affordable option to flowers?  I have you covered!

Candles, candles and more candles are a great way to create a mood and give a shimmering magic to your wedding.  They can also be purchased in bulk to save money.  A combination of pillars and votives make for a beautiful look.

Lanterns are another way to decorate and create an ambiance.  You can use candles or LED twinkle lights to give off light.  These are also a wonderful alternative to bouquets.  Fill the lanterns with fairy lights and watch the glow as your bridesmaids walk down the aisle.

Old books, antique jars, family heirlooms can be used to create amazing centerpieces without using one flower!  Hoops made of brass or even covered embroidery hoops adorned with green make a dramatic statement.  Orchids suspended in tall cylinders of water are a very dramatic touch to your tables.  Incorporate them with other vintage things, books or candles.  No sneezing here!

Fruit in tall cylinders with floating candles give color to your tables and create a natural effect.  And, they are environmentally responsible.  Lemons, apples, cranberries- what's your favorite.  Artichokes, eggplant, and other vegetables are beautiful in a table garland.  One of my brides was a chef and wanted the food element in her table decor.  Vegetables added stunning colors and a "green" vibe to her centerpieces.  

Hanging twinkle lights, draping with uplighting, greens, such as eucalyptus woven into garlands- all things lovely and romantic.  Silk flowers are also an option.  Or, wooden flowers- you will never know that they are not real!  Have your bridesmaids carry fans, decorated hoops, or other natural choices instead of flowers.  

You don't have to have flowers to make your wedding unforgettable.  Use your imagination.  There are lots of other options.  

THE WEEK IN VISIONS

Its Friday and I want to be sure you didn't miss any of my vision boards this week.  So, here they are.  Questions?  Ready for my to help you with yours?  Contact me!  

Late Fall 

Winter in Red and Pink

Natural Winter Beauty

Regal Emerald and Gold

Pretty in Pink and Gold

Majestic Purple and Gold

PHOTO SHOP

Photo: Sarah DiCicco

Over the years I have worked with lots of photographers.  Most of them are amazing!  They all have their own style.  However, when you are searching for the photographer for your wedding, you need to find one that matches your style.  Its important to CONNECT with your photographer.  If you aren't in sync, you will not be happy with your wedding pictures.  And, you can't do them over.  The other piece of advice would be, DO NOT GO CHEAP!  There are great photographers who are very affordable.  And, you can customize your package to suit your budget.  Remember, this is the memory of your wedding day.  

Here are some tips for finding the perfect photographer.  Take a look at the photogrpaher's work.  does it speak to you?  Does that photographer have a style that you like?  Meet more than one photographer. 

 Set up an engagement shoot.  The way you and that photographer interact will tell you whether its a good choice.  I worked with a couple a few years ago who had hired a photographer and done an engagement shoot.  Afterward, the bride called me to say that she didn't like the photographer's personality.  She couldn't smile.  And, she hated the pictures from the shoot.  I offered other choices, but because they had given a deposit, they stuck it out with the original photographer.  When the proofs came from the wedding, the bride was not happy.  So,don't hire someone that doesn't make you comfortable.  No matter how great or how many referrals, there IS a right photographer for you.

Find out what is included with the price.  Many photographers work with a second shooter- which means both you and the groom will get those "Getting Ready" photos.  And, not a moment will be lost, because there are 4 eyes on your wedding all day.  How many photos do you get included?  Is an album included?  Most of the time, NO.  So, be prepared to pay for a wedding album.  Do you get all of the photos on a disc?  Talk to the photogrpaher before you sign a contract.  Be very clear what is included.

Find out if the photographer also does video.  Many photographers do offer it.  And, it is something you want to include in your budget.  Hiring a videographer is not a luxury.  When you look back on your wedding, don't you want to hear those vows again, listen to the song you danced to while watching it?  Remember, this is a once in a lifetime and will never be repeated.  So, you want every moment to be documented.   

The most important thing to remember when deciding on your photography- and videography is that this is the memories.  These pictures, this video is what you will look back on for years to come.  So, choose wisely.  And, feel free to contcact me for advice or referrals.  Happy Planning!

Photo: Kelli Wilke

YOUR FOREVER BEGINS HERE

I am so excited to share this contest with you today!!  Constellation Culinary Group and Curtis Atrium have announced a most special contest.  The History of Us is a wonderful way for you to share your love story and enter to win a dream wedding.  The Curtis Atrium is an historic landmark and inspiring venue for your Happily Ever After.  And, Constellation Culinary Group is among the finest in the city.  Its a perfect combination for your big day. 

So, lets talk about the contest.  The History of Us, the story of your love and what makes you and your partner unique. That is what Constellation Culinary wants to know.  And, this is how you enter.  Create a Pinterest board with memories, favorite moments, songs, events, all of your adventures.  Then send your board to Constellation.  Share your board with Instagram using the hashtag- #hitchedweddingcontest.  Don't be shy!!  Share as much as you like.  The more interesting and unique your board, the better.  This will be so much fun.  Sharing your love story, remembering all of the things that make you, YOU!  

The contest runs through January 15, 2020.  The winner will be announced on the Curtis Atrium Facebook and Instagram pages.  Winning couple gets a beautiful wedding at the Curtis Atrium with delicious and artistically presented food by Constellation.  This is how to enter- 

1. Show the history of you and your fiancé using Pinterest. Create a new board and title it “The History of Us.” Then upload your favorite memories (places, songs, stories, etc.) Paint a digital picture of the history of your love. Make sure the link is set to public.
2. Email the link to your board to historyofUS@constellationculinary.com
3. Along with your email, be sure to include:
   a. First and last names of both of you
   b. When you got engaged
   c. What city/ town you live in
4. (Optional) Share a post about your board on your Instagram page using the hashtag #hitchedcontest, and tagging @byconstellation and @thecurtisatrium
5. Leave your board up through the end of the contest on January 15th. One lucky couple will win an expense paid wedding at The Curtis Atrium, which includes:
   • Venue Rental
   • Constellation Food and Beverage Package (Maximum value of $50,000/ Minimum 100 guests, Maximum 200 guests)

Here is the link to the rules.

Consider visting Curtis Atrium and meet with Contellation.  Because, even if you don't win, you will want to say your I Do's in this beautiful setting. Have Fun and Good Luck!!!

YOU WILL FLIP FOR THESE FLOPZ

About a week ago, I was introduced to these little beauties and I knew I needed to find out more.  So, I reached out to the company owner and the artist who creates a line of wedding flip flops for them and now I want to share with you.

Flipsidez was created in 2010 and is based in Pottstown, Pa.  The original concept was to create custom sand imprinting flip flops.  Words and symbols were cut into the soles.  Consumers could then leave a message in the sand, just by walking on the beach.  Great idea- RIGHT?

Well, now, the business has changed, grown and evolved into a great way for businesses to create custom flip flops for clients and for you to create a great gift for your wedding party, His and Her flip flops for your honeymoon or just leave your happy wedding news behind when you take your first married walk on the beach.  You can custom design your bridesmaids names, your wedding date, whatever you can think of.  These very affordable flip flops are a great addition to any wedding fun.


Earlier this year, Flipsidez commissioned local artist, Lori Diamond to create an "off duty mermaid" design.  Quickly, Lori added a Las Vegas Bride design, same sex wedding designs and more.  

Lori's flip flop collection can be found later this year on the company's Etsy site.  What could be more fun than to create these flip flops for your wedding?! In the meantime, check out the other popular designs on the Flipsidez Etsy site.  In the meantime, contact Brad, and tell him I sent you!

ENVISIONED BEAUTY

Lately, I have started doing vision boards every day.  There are lots of reasons why- besides its great fun to think them up and see them come to life.  It also helps you, the bride, to see what you might be thinking and can't envision yourself.  And, it shows the creativity that I bring to every wedding or party that I plan.  Creating vision boards is not hard, it doesn't take a lot of time and it keeps my creative juices flowing.  I hope it brings you to understand how much I enjoy my work, how many talents I bring to my work and gives you the confidence to know that choosing me to oversee your wedding is the right choice.  Here are my vision boards for the last few days- in case you missed them. 

Elegant Table Inspiration

Of Fairies and Castles Wedding

Antique Carnations

Dreamy Blue Wedding

Whimsical Summer Wedding

Edwardian English Country

FOR THE LOVE OF CARNATIONS

Carnations are best associated with those $6 bouquets that you pick up at the grocery store.  But, carnations are, actually, a rich man's flower and their beginnings are rooted in delicate stems, muted and beautiful colors and the loving care of  millionare growers in New York, New Jersey and the midwest who grew them as prize winning gems.  And, yes, there is a TRUE greeen carnation- not those dyed ones you see in March.  

My experience with these magnificent beauties began when I was working for a florist.  I was immediately drawn to them, because of their antique charm.  Creating bouquets with them became an obsession, of sorts.  Whether a bridal bouquet or just something for a Friday night surprise for a lucky wife, they were always a winner.  I was so drawn to the colors that look like a time gone by- well, they are.  

So, when you are looking to create a vintage look to your wedding, or just something unique to pop up between the roses, the ranunculus, the anemone or the dahlias- try antique carnations.  You will be surprised by the reaction.  Aren't these just gorgeous!!  Not supermarket flowers, for sure!

STRESSED OUT- NOT!

Wedding planning can be very stressful.  There are so many decisions to be made, budgets to stick to, personalities to juggle and keeping it all straight and up to date.  How are you going to handle it all?  Here are some tips for staying sane and not becoming a bridezilla.

Its very easy to get caught up in the excitement of being engaged. The first thing you need to do is enjoy being engaged.  Take some time after you say YES and just enjoy the moment.  Let it sink in that you have found your life partner and you are beginning a new chapter in the Book of Us.  Don't dive into wedding planning without a PLAN.

When you are ready, sit down together and talk about what you want your wedding to be.  Talk about budgets, about visions, about dates.  Come to an agreement together, write it all down and formulate a plan of action.  Then, if parents are helping pay for the wedding, schedule a time to sit down and discuss your plan.  Remember, its your wedding, but you need to respect the generosity of your parents and their part in the celebration.  Get a binder and keep everything in there.  Keep a calendar with a checklist.  This is your wedding bible.  Use it for everything.  It will keep you focused, on track and will keep everyone in the loop.  No stress- its all in black and white.

Now, you are prepared to start planning.  Venue is the first thing you should book.  If you have your heart set on a particular venue, get your date booked as soon as possible.  And, if your date isn't available, try to be flexible on date or venue.  Maybe you can move your wedding back or forward a week, maybe you can find a similar venue that is available.  Don't stress.  There are so many options.  

Of course, you are going to want to go dress shopping.  What bride hasn't dreamed of trying on dresses for her wedding?  But, are you indecisive?  Do you have trouble shopping, even for the simplest things and feel anxious about such a huge purchase?  Have you never imagined yourself in a wedding dress?  Do you have a body image struggle?  Well, just relax!  This does not have to be stressful.  Maybe you can go get your hair and nails and make up done right before your appointment.  Make yourself feel pretty.  Don't put your hair in a messy bun and wear your oldest pair of sweats.  Make this an occasion- because it is!!  And, don't take your whole bridal party or every female relative with you- especially the first time.  Go alone or with your mom or a trusted friend.  This is an overwhelming experience on its own.  Don't complicate it with too many opinions.  There is plenty of time to share The Dress with everyone.  Its your wedding, your dress- only your opinion matters!!  And, finally, make an appointment.  If you go into a bridal salon without one, you might feel like you aren't welcome or that they don't have time for you.  An appointment makes this a special time- just for you.

Ok- you have the venue and you found the dress.  The rest of the wedding hinges on these two things.  Are you basing your wedding around a theme, a color or something special that you share as a couple?   Pick one thing and build on it.  Don't try to put too many ideas into it or your wedding will get overwhelming.  Pinterest is a great resource, but keep your feet planted on the ground and don't just go crazy with all the pretty pictures.  Keep your budget in focus.  Keep your theme in focus.  Only glean what works from the internet.  This will keep you from getting confused, overwhelmed and over budget!!

 THIS IS IMPORTANT- just because a venue has an exclusive caterer or a PREFERRED VENDOR LIST doesn't mean they are great or right for you.  Many vendor lists are paid for, just like featured vendors on wedding websites.  Don't assume, just because there is a star next to a vendor, or a vendor is "preferred" by a venue, that they are the best.  Interview vendors, make a connection.  Connecting with your vendors is SO important.  DON'T BUY THE HYPE!

Here we are, the big stuff is done.  Take a break.  Get back to enjoying the engagement.  Plan an engagement party.  Celebrate with friends.  Celebrate each other.  Don't let wedding planning consume you.  Plan a couple's weekend.  Spend a day at a spa or just pamper each other a little.  Life goes on and you don't want to lose yourself in this process.

Remember these things-

1. Weddings are not perfect.  But, no one will know that something didn't get done, because only you know you wanted it.  Don't stress over things that you can't make happen.  And, don't stress over little mistakes.  Your guests are there to celebrate you, not to critique the event.

2. Take time for yourself, away from planning.   If you spend every waking hour obsessing over your wedding, by the time the day arrives, you will be too exhausted to enjoy it.

3. Ask for help.  Your bridal party can help you address envelopes, run errands, keep you from falling apart and glue the bling on your DIY projects.  Don't try to do it alone.  That is what bridesmaids are for.  

4. Take a deep breath and enjoy the day!!!!   This is your wedding day- but, it is just that A DAY!!  Enjoy the fact that your new life is begining and that your family and friends are there to celebrate with you.  If it didn't get done- leave it alone!!!!!   Nobody will care.  There is no wedding disaster bigger than your love of each other.  BE THE BRIDE!!

5. Hire a planner.  It doesn't matter if you have a 10K budget or a $100K budget.  A planner is your advocate, your right hand, the glue that holds the day together.  If anything does go wrong, your planner will fix it.  But, one word of caution- hire a professional, someone who knows the business, can jump into any hat and understands you and your vision.  Day of planning is great.  But, don't hire someone cheap who is only going to show up at your wedding or the week of.  Nobody has that kind of talent.  You can't do a job if you know nothing about the wedding.  Hire someone who takes the time to get to know you, your vendors and your vision.  That person will be able to navigate your day while you just enjoy it.  In the end, you can relax, enjoy the day and know that someone has your back.

Now, meditate, take a yoga class, have a girl's weekend, read a good book, go to the beach.  Just keep your feet on the ground, keep your expectations in check and remember- you are joining lives with this person.  That should be the focus.  Like my bride at the beginning of this article- plop on the floor in your gown and find your center.   JUST ENJOY!!!