INTEGRITY

Today, I veer away from the usual nicities to talk about something that is SO, SO important to me- INTEGRITY. 

 When I started my business 16 years ago, I came to it with a skill set that prepared me for whatever might happen.  I had worked in the restaurant business for over 20 years and had run some of the best restaurants in the city of Philadelphia.  In those years, I entertained celebrities, politicians, local business owners and even tourists.  There were weddings, political gatherings, private dinners for stars who were working in the theaters.  Every customer that came in the door I treated as if they were coming to dinner at my house.  And, I treated my staff with respect and decency- from dishwashers to chefs.  We were a team and our goal was to make sure the guests had a wonderful time and a great meal.   INTEGRITY in my work- that's what was most important.  Being respectful, honest and doing the best job every day.

After too many years of working 7 days a week and never being home for a holiday, I switched gears.  On a whim, I answered an ad for a bridal salon manager.   This began a new chapter in my work life and a spark that I didn't even know was there.   Working with a bride on this journey, deciding what she was going to wear for such an important day in her life was exhiliarating.  I learned about fabrics, construction of a gown, how to alter a dress, how to dye a veil to match a dress and how to dye shoes- among other things,  And, again, my staff was important to me, my brides were important to me and my INTEGRITY was important to me.  I would never tell a bride she could have something that she could not.  I went out of my way to ensure that every bride felt important, listened to and that every sales associate felt like I had their best interests at heart.  

Along the way I did some other things that prepared me for the leap into wedding planning.  I worked for an events company writing brochures, creating party themes and acquiring props.  I nannied two little girls, which taught me patience and tolerance.  I worked in a theater- handling all the costumes, making lodging arrangements for the stars who worked there and entertaining them at night for dinner.  INTEGRITY- being respectful of their needs and their privacy, while ensuring that their stay was pleasant and that their costumes and accommodations were always in order.  Let me tell you a story.  Most of you won't remember Ronnie Claire Edwards.  She played Ike Godsey's wife on The Waltons.  She was cast as Miss Daisy in the play Driving Miss Daisy- which is very different from the movie.  This is a 3 person play and she is on stage for most of it.  Her changes were very quick and she was a nervous wreck.  When she arrived for rehearsals- she was a very eccentric lady, she explained to me that I was not going to be able to get her changed in time because I didn't know her or how quick the changes were.  Rather than argue with her and try to make myself feel better, I just did my job.  Every outfit was lined up according to scene, including hats, gloves, shoes, jewelry.  And, after the first rehearsal, I had her eating out of my hand.  At the end of the run, she refused to leave without me and I had to travel with her to two other theaters to dress her.  INTEGRITY!  Honesty, hard work and diligence.  I earned her respect.  

When I started my business, it was because, in my personal life, I also had INTEGRITY.  My mother was ill and needed to be cared for.  And, my grandmother was in her 90's and needed weekly help.  As the oldest of four and the only girl, I learned early on about service to others.  I raised my three brothers, took care of my grandparents, became a single mom after a bad divorce and weathered all kinds of storms that prepared me for ANY "what if".  Believe me, there have been MANY "what if's"  in my life.  Anyway, I needed a job that was more flexible so that my mother would not be alone all day, every day.  At the time, wedding planning wasn't the "IN" thing to do.  But, it was a VERY valued service that brides took seriously because is was a huge help to their stress levels and the success of their wedding.  So, I took my skill set and I plunged into the world of event planning.  My first ever bride was a 40 year old, first time bride and a TV producer.  She had already alienated all of her vendors and brought me on to do everything.  She and I got along great, because I respected her vision, her personality and her needs.  I didn't take over, I just did my job.  Her wedding was quite the To Do, including walking her dress from Vera Wang's studio to the hotel- up 5th Avenue, and making sure that 150 people boarded buses in the city to travel up Riverside Drive to the venue- with lemonade!!  Needless to say, it was a great success and she emailed me from the beach in Hawaii to thank me.  INTEGRITY!!  Being respectful, honest and doing my best.

Here I am 16 years later, and I am wondering- what happened to the value of INTEGRITY?  I have treated all of my brides with it, have done a supurb job of making them happy.  It didn't matter if it was a DIY bride with a $10k budget or an executive with a $100K budget- they all get the same treatment.  I won't spoil my integrity with bashing anyone or decrying another's ability or success.  But, I AM WORTH IT!!!  My commitment is worth it.  My ability is worth it.  My creativity and my hard work ethic is worth it.  I know what I am doing.  TALK TO ME.  ASK ME.  ASK MY BRIDES.  And, then- HIRE ME.   I promise you won't be disappointed.  I work incredibly hard- I have all my life, not just in this business.  I am 100% here for you- its your day!   And, I have INTEGRITY!!!  No matter what you see, what you read, what you think because I don't have a fancy web site.  My worth speaks for itself in my track record.  So, give me a chance to be what I LOVE being.  Every bride needs a planner- let it be me.  Thank you for reading.  Someone told me that I needed to speak my worth.  So, here it is.  I hope to talk to you soon.

ROMANTIC AND ELEGANT HALLOWEEN IN NEW ORLEANS

New Orleans is one of the most romantic and haunted places to be married.  This is a city I would do weddings in all the time, there are so many amazing venues.  The history, the ghost stories, the voodoo.  So, in honor of Halloween tomorrow, I created a Halloween wedding at Race and Religious- my personal favorite and the most romantic venue in the city.

Steeped in history and original artifacts, this is a huge venue, made up of three buildings.  Its charming enough for an elegant wedding and just spooky enough to make it perfect for this day.  And, it is equipped with every modern amenity, while keeping with the original history, painstakingly renovated by its owner.  If you are planning a spectacular destination wedding, want to marry in a place that congers the spirits or just want your guests to have something to talk about for years to come, lets plan your Race and Religious wedding now!!   I would be so excited to help you plan your wedding here!  And, planners are a MUST here.   

DRESSING THE GROOM

  

Well, here is one for the guys!  Gone are the days where the men in the wedding have to wear a tux with a vest and a tie matching the bridesmaids.  Tuxes are still popular and they have changed with the times and the trends.  And, certainly, for a black tie or formal wedding, they are appropriate. There are so many other options now.  This sophisticated white suit with a dark tie and a pair of trendy shoes make for the modern groom with a hint of Humphrey Bogart.  Or how about color!  No one ever said the groom has to be in black- or brown or navy.  This yellow suit is perfect for a summer garden wedding.  Add some flowers to your tie and pocket square.   And, if you are really daring and love to have fun, floral print jackets are everywhere!  Its your day too and you should be whatever you want to be.  Just remember to think about the kind of wedding you are having and, without revealing any secrets, have the bride give you some guidance about her dress style.  

Finally, if you are looking for a custom suit or just the latest fashion with  personal attention and an on site day of dressing service for you and the groomsmen, you have to visit my friend Jimmy at Saget's Formalwear.  He and his team are the best at eveyting they do- from rentals to alterations to custom designing your wedding day suit.  

Stand out in the crowd on your wedding day.  Put a little of your personality in your wedding day dressing.  And, enjoy the process.  

A HEAD THING

Your bridal look is more than just the dress.  All of the accessories, the shoes, the veil, your hair... its all part of that finished look.  Today, I want to talk about your head.  Veil or no veil, hair up or hair down.  What kind of veil.  These are all questions you will ask yourself as you put together your wedding day look.

To me, every bride should wear a veil of some sort.  It doesn't have to be a cathedral length cloud of netting.  A bird cage, a short veil at the back of your head, but some way to say- I am the bride and this is a special day.  That being said, the type of veil you wear depends on the dress.  But, here are some things I have observed over the years, some of the mistakes I have seen and some sound advice on choosing how your head will look when you walk down the aisle.

First, let's talk about hair.  Up or down?  Unless you have perfect hair that stays put and keeps its shape, wearing your hair down in your face is probably not the best decision.  Its a long day and you want to look and feel fresh for all of it.  If your curls are bedraggled by cocktail hour, that isn't a good thing.  Consider pulling the front back into a braid or a crystal hair comb and then if your hair doesn't hold up,. at least it won't look like you forgot to comb it.  My advice about bridal hair is to do something that looks like you, but better.  Try a braid, a low bun at the nape of your neck, something that makes you feel special.  Because- YOU ARE!


Veils come in all kinds of lengths and styles.  They can be plain or adorned with crystals or lace.  Mantillas, Juliet caps, just a billow of tulle down the back of your dress- and more.  When you choose your veil, make sure it fits the feel of the dress and doesn't fight with the beading or the applique on your dress.  However, if your dress is simple, perhaps you want to choose something that has embroidered flowers or a lace applique.  Try different styles until you feel like the best YOU.  

Once you have decided on a veil, your hair has to fit the style.  So, if you have a specific style in mind before you purchase a veil, make sure that style compliments the veil.  There is nothing attractive about an unembellished comb stuck in the back of your head.  If you wear your hair down and want to just wear a veil with no ornamentation, try a mantilla.  It sits flat on your head and looks finished.  Another thing that I see is a veil that is placed too close to the face.  Position your veil far enough back that is doesn't hide your pretty smile.  And, again, if you don't want to have anything on the veil, choose a hairstyle that you can tuck the comb of the veil into so it doesn't look like an afterthought.

Finally, a note about blushers.  A blusher is a totally unadorned layer of veil, usually detachable, that should come to about your bust.  It is not the top layer of a multitiered veil and it should not have any lace or other decoration.  It is also not a shroud.  This is a very beautiful ethereal look, but how practical is it?   

Discuss all of these things with the bridal salon when you are shopping.  They will know what looks right.  One last piece of advice- its much easier to choose a veil when you choose your dress, or at your first fitting, provided the veil is something that comes in quickly.  Its very hard to get an idea on the whole picture in your jeans and a tee shirt.  

Have more questions about your veil or your hair or- anything?  Feel free to contact me.  I am never too busy to answer a question.  Happy Planning! 

XTRAORDINARY EVENTS

When Vito Russo enters the equation, you can be sure the result will be Xtraordinary!!   Vito is a presence in the special events industry.  And, his new venture, along with partner Ken Sharples, is just that- XTRAORDINARY!



When you set out to impress your guests at a luxury wedding, a lavish gala or a corporate event, you want to hire the best.  Xtraordinary Events lights the room, creates the floral and overall design of the event and handles the flawless set up with attention to every detail.  The final picture is stunning- every time.   Hands down, this team has the expertise, the creativity and the resources to make your special occasion one that will be talked about for a long time.  Contact Vito and Ken today and begin to create your one of a kind dream come true.
 










Click here to see where you can meet the team of  Xtraordinary Events 

THE EARTH LAUGHS IN FLOWERS

So says Ralph Waldo Emerson- and Kim Bakke.  Sometimes I am just mesmerized by someone's work and I can't stop looking at it.  If, like me, you love English gardens, incredible colors and unique florals, you are going to LOVE- The Cottage Gardener!   Kim is an artist, a gardener and one of the most romantic floral designers in the area.  her work is spectacular.  I just have to tell you about her.  

Kim started loving flowers as a child in her mother's garden.  She took that love into adulthood and, in her words, began to "understand the deeper truths about the language and enduring wonder of flowers.  Kim is a story teller and a romantic.  Every wedding is a personal testament to each and every couple.  

No matter the season, Kim uses brilliant colors and lush pastels to create the most beautiful bouquets and tablescapes.  Just look at these exquisite bouquets!  No springtime wedding should be without such lush and lovely flowers.  Kim is on top of all the trends, like lots of lights and hanging greenery.   This summer wedding is just gorgeous.  Perfect for a rustic wedding, an outdoor wedding or a winery wedding.   And, a winter wedding with vibrant reds and soft greens really captures the frosty outdoors combined with the love of warmth of the celebration inside.  There are so many amazing floral designers out there.  But, if your vision is pure romance- contact A Cottage Gardener.  Tell your love story through flowers!

REALITY TV?

Reality TV!   Its been around for awhile, from Whose Wedding Is It Anyway, to Say Yes To The Dress, to Four Weddings.  Brides flock to these shows for ideas, for inspiration, for validation- and because its fun.  I admit- I watch it too.  I even did a blog series when SYTTD did the first season.  

So, why am I writing about this now?  And, why are my images, here, all of me dressing my brides?  I'll tell you.  REALITY TV isn't real!  Its scripted and planned and edited and- full of bad ideas!!  I know how to dress a bride properly and I always make sure they are picture perfect before anyone sees them. So, let me pick apart my reason for this article. 

 When I look at a bride who is doing her first dance and her train is wiping up the dance floor, I ask- where is her bustle?  Did she not know she needed to have the seamstress add one during alterations?  Or, didn't she know she needed one?  Or, was there no one to help her after the ceremony?  That little loop at the bottom of the train is NOT to hold it!!  Its only there to hook it to a hanger. WHERE IS THE PLANNER?

If you are planning to wear your hair down, remember two things.  First, the weather could have you looking bedraggled before your pictures are taken, so have a back up "do" ready in case of rain, snow or wind.  Watching a bride on a TV show whose hair looks like it hasn't even been combed is not attractive.  Also, that flowing mane does not lend itself to a veil on a comb plopped on the back of your head.  When I see a bride on TV with a plain veil stuck in her flowing hair, it drives me crazy!  Think about what goes on your head and make sure that if you are planning to wear your hair down, ask about alternatives when you go shopping for the veil. Your planner can be a great resource for ideas of how to looked finished from head to toe.

Now, as for the dress.  I spent several years running bridal salons.  In that role, it was my job to oversee alterations, sometimes do the alterations- or remake a dress, and advise brides of what looks nice.  Let me tell you, a puddling hem does not look nice.  Your dress should be an inch from the floor- IN YOUR SHOES.  So, before you have your first fitting, make sure you have the shoes you will be wearing on your wedding day.  If you are wearing a strapless dress, the last thing you want is to be pulling at it all day.  Make sure it is snug, well structured and have the seamstress put an elastic belt on the inside at your waist.  This will keep it from sliding.  Because, guess what, your dress is going to "grow" as you perspire.  TV brides constantly have dresses that are too long and strapless dresses that don't fit properly.  When I see it, I ask myself- WHY IS THERE NOT A PLANNER HERE?!  

Other things that I notice on Reality TV, brides with no real focus.  There is no reason on earth for any bride to try on over 100 dresses.  After the first couple, it begins to become clear that some shapes work and some don't.  It isn't true that the more dresses you try, the more sure you are.  Just the opposite.  Its so much more confusing.  Focus on what looks nice on your body.  And,  DON'T LET ANYONE TELL YOU WHAT YOU SHOULD LIKE!!!  Its your day, its your dress.  Only YOU need to like it.  Limit your posse.  Too many opinions are confusing.  TV brides who show up with 20 people to try on dresses are just asking for trouble.  I find myself yelling at the TV for those on the couch to be quiet!!  

Pinterest is a great place for ideas.  Its hard to stick to one theme when you there are so many to choose from.  Don't try to do too many things.  Four Weddings is notorious for this.  One of the biggest things I see when I watch this show is that a bride has an idea, but gets carried away and either does too much or tries to incorporate too many themes into her wedding.  Again, focus.  Pick a color palette or a style and stick with it.  A good planner can help you sort out your ideas and put them together in a beautiful vision board that will bring your ideas into focus.

Here's the thing.  Reality TV is entertainment.  Its fun to watch and everybody loves weddings.  But when it comes to your REAL wedding, don't depend on Reality TV to find answers.  If you have questions or want to know more about my services, contact me.  I am an experienced source of really good information.  Lets talk about your wedding.  I offer a free consultation.  Can't wait to hear your wedding ideas!