DIY DO'S AND DON'TS

 

You're engaged and looking at all those rustic, outdoor possibilities.   Barns, gardens, and tented lawns.  All perfect for the darling Pinterest ideas you have been collecting.   And, right in line with your budget.   WAIT.....!!!   Before you sign up for that clearing in the woods or that barn that has no heat, no kitchen and no bathroom facilities.   Before you start shopping on Etsy and at Michael's, start collecting mason jars and old bottles and burlap- STOP! - and take notes.  

Crafty brides- and some "not so crafty" brides are becoming commonplace.   But, girls, you need to consider the facts.   When you book a venue with a clearing in the woods, over a bridge, down an embankment to a pavilion- all that crafty stuff has to get there, get set up and get back at the end and into a car.   YOU also have to get there- in a wedding gown.  

Once all those boxes of homemade stuff get there- WHO is going to set them up?  Most venues give you limited time on the day of to set up.   If you have not hired a florist to do your centerpieces, your caterer is not going to do this for you.  And, a florist is not going to set up your DIY centerpieces if they are only delivering bouquets.   Are you prepared to spend your wedding day sweating it out to put up tables and decorate them?   Shouldn't you be having your hair done, spending time with your bridesmaids and relaxing for that special moment when you walk toward your groom?   But, OK, you enjoy all that crafty stuff and you are on a budget.   Hire a planner to coordinate your wedding day.   Have that someone who will set up all the wonderful things you have put together.

I recently was helping out a friend who runs a venue.  The bride and her maids came to the venue- all made up with hair done, and proceeded to put up tables and chairs and decorate the space.   By the time they were done, they were all sweaty, exhausted and had to rush to get ready.   Is that how YOU want to spend the start of your wedding day?    Now, I know everyone is on a budget.  You would rather be putting that money toward a house or even the honeymoon.   And, you can do all those DIY projects if you are up for the challenge.   But, hire someone to take care of them on your big day!  

 And, work with a real caterer!!!!   A caterer can be found at any price range.   And, you can tailor your menu to any budget.   But, you need a professional to set up the venue, serve the food, clear away the dishes and clean up and break down.  Again- that is NOT the job of the bride!!!!   

Finally, Pinterest is a great place for ideas!  I love going there for inspiration.  But, please keep in mind that many of the pretty pictures you see are "styled shoots" and not real weddings.   Some of what you see is far more expensive and/ or complicated to do than you realize.   And, some of it was done by event designers with rented pieces and not DIY at all.  

When choosing to do a DIY wedding, keep your feet on the ground and your logical mind in check.   Realize what is really possible and figure out HOW you are going to make it all come together BEFORE you start!   You will save yourself a lot of stress down the road.   And, hiring a planner is NOT only for big budget brides.   I have worked with many brides on very tight budgets.  But, they realized the value of having someone to lean on for such a special day in their lives.   

Note:  All the photos here are from my brides.  

WHAT'S IN A NAME?

Yesterday, I posted on my blog at Philadelphia Wedding about the pitfalls of hiring the wrong planner. Today, I want to address the many titles that "planners" take on and the difference between planners, designers and coordinators. But, before I do, let me tell you some things to look for when you are looking for the right planner to help you navigate the journey to your most important day.

Experience Versus Education: In your quest for the right planner, you have probably read the message boards, blogs and web sites of many people. Some have years of experience, while others are new to the business- MANY others. They have stated that they have planned their own weddings and have decided that this is their dream job. They have gotten a "certificate" from a local college, association, on line or from another planner who "teaches" new planners. While those certificates are recognized as a starting place for a new planner, they don't really speak to the need for a good planner to have connections in the industry, knowledge of who is a professional with quality product and a network of possibilities for every budget and taste. These are all things that come from doing it. A good planner has years of experience with good and bad wedding professionals. They have a sense of where to guide you based on your needs and budget. And, they have a serious commitment to the difficulties and challenges of the the job "planner". Contrary to popular belief and REALITY TV, this is NOT a glamor job. It is a serious profession and not for everyone and anyone.

Associations: There are many associations connected to the industry, as well as to the catering and events industries. Belonging to these associations, while a good way for a planner to keep abreast of trends, network and enjoy the "perks" of the industry, they are not always a necessary mark of a good planner. The most important mark of a good planner is their experience, their track record and the opinions of the industry professionals that know them.

Cost: Planners charge in many ways. Some charge a flat fee for specific duties , or a percentage of the budget for full planning. Most planners will add other duties on an "a la carte" menu or as an added charge. There are other planners who have "packages". These "packages" range from full planning to day of planning. Each package includes a list of duties that will be performed. Still others charge on an hourly basis. They may combine a package with an hourly charge for additional time. Make sure you understand what is included when you sign a contract. Ask questions about what you can expect from your planner and what will be billed as an extra charge. And, before you discount a planner as "TOO EXPENSIVE", break down what is included with that planner and what an hourly rate would be or an a la carte charge would add to the initial fee. You can't always dismiss a planner based on price. Remember that this is a profession, a livelihood and a skill set that has been honed over time. And, if you have a good planner, the time involved in helping you plan your wedding is priceless.

Now, let me explain the differences in titles. This is an area that creates a great deal of confusion. So, if you understand the differences and what you can expect, it will be easier to choose the right fit for your needs.

Planner: A planner is a professional that will guide you along the path to your wedding. Assisting in choosing vendors, developing timelines and budgets, facilitating your rehearsal and wedding day. A planner will accompany you to meetings, tastings. And, a planner will help you to realize your vision. Again, you must understand what a planner charges for these duties and what is included in the initial cost and what is an extra charge. But, a planner should be your personal assistant, your advocate.

Designer: This title is self explanatory. An event designer does just that- designs your wedding. Your palette, your tablescapes, your flowers. A designer will facilitate the execution of how your venue looks on your wedding day. Many event designers have "planning" as part of their advertising. They may have a planner on staff or have a relationship with a planner. When you hire an event designer, be sure that you are also hiring someone who will follow all the aspects of your wedding and not just how it looks. And, be sure of how these firms charge.

Coordinator: Most venues have an "in house coordinator". Literally translated, this is the person in charge of the venue on your wedding day. They are an employee of the venue- not you! Their loyalty is to the venue- not you! And, their job is to see to the food and set up at the venue on your wedding day. What happens before the wedding, what happens if your have a dress disaster, a limo that is late or a photographer that doesn't show up is not their job! They are NOT your advocate. They are NOT going to handle your mother or get you down the aisle. They are there for the good of the venue. So, when they tell you NOT to hire a planner because they have it covered- don't listen. Also, beware of "day of" coordinators. What is that? How can someone have one meeting with you a few weeks before your wedding and then show up and have ANY idea how to ensure you have a flawless day? The answer is- they can't! If you are going to invest in a planner, make a wise choice and hire someone who will be involved at some level throughout your planning process.
Finally, a note to you DIY brides. While it is widely assumed that doing your own flowers, cake and favors is a great way to save money and put your "stamp" on your wedding, it may not be true! Unless you are superwoman with nothing else to do with your time during the planning process, this can be a costly and stressuful mistake! There are certain things that you should just leave to the pros! And, if you do plan to add those DIY projects, remember that SOMEONE has to implement those projects on your wedding day. So, if you decide to do your own design, do yourself a favor and hire a planner to help you. Remember, on your wedding day you can not be the florist, the baker or THE PLANNER. And,neither can your mom or your maid of honor. Invest in the insurance that is an invaluable asset to any wedding day. HIRE A PLANNER!

DIY- AND HOW?

On Saturday I was catching up with one of the wonderful photographers I work with, Sarah Miller. This is a wedding we worked on together and the reason I am writing this post. Sarah was talking about the DIY bride and why they need even more assistance with their weddings than the bride who hires pros to do the work. Here is what she had to say:
"I would think that if you've created a whole DIY wedding that's an even BIGGER reason you NEED someone there on the day of to keep things moving smoothly. f you make your own bouquets the day before your wedding, who transports them?

Who shows the groomsmen how to put on their boutonnieres?

If you have a friend running an i-pod, who tells them where to set up? Who makes sure they have a table, that their wires are taped down properly? Where the outlets are?

Is anyone arranging for cold champagne to be in the bridal suite at a DIY wedding? how about water on a hot day?

If you're reusing your ceremony flowers at your reception, who gets them to their new location?

A day of wedding planner who sees your vision makes it POSSIBLE to do a DIY wedding with class, and saves you money without compromising the quality... leaving the bride and groom to actually
enjoy their own day, instead of running around answering those questions. "

Jess was the quintessential DIY bride. The only thing she didn't do herself was make the dress. But, with a strict budget and her own great style, she was determined to put her stamp on her wedding. What made Jess so smart with this plan was- SHE KNEW SHE COULDN'T DO IT ALONE! So, she called me, and together we made it a most perfect day. She even tried to do the bridal bouquets herself. But after much frustrated effort, I took her to one of my florists and he created the perfect bouquets for Jess- within her budget. As Sarah, and many others, have told me-- DIY brides need a planner. It isn't an unnecessary, added expense. Look at it as insurance that all your hard work and all your ideas will come to fruition on a day when you should have nothing to worry about but how gorgeous you look in your gown. I can also save you money along the way, help you find a vendor, like I did for Jess, when you just can't do it yourself and make sure that all the pieces come together on your wedding day. Think about it. After months of planning and searching and printing and gluing and tying and working, don't you deserve to have someone who will see to those special touches that you created? I want to thank Sarah for her inspiration for this post. These are two of the great photos that Sarah took that day. Sarah is a perfectionist, like me. So, we work well together. She creates a feeling for each wedding that brings to life the magic of each couple and their wedding dreams. You can see more of Sarah's work here.