Its very easy to get caught up in the excitement of being engaged. The first thing you need to do is enjoy being engaged. Take some time after you say YES and just enjoy the moment. Let it sink in that you have found your life partner and you are beginning a new chapter in the Book of Us. Don't dive into wedding planning without a PLAN.
When you are ready, sit down together and talk about what you want your wedding to be. Talk about budgets, about visions, about dates. Come to an agreement together, write it all down and formulate a plan of action. Then, if parents are helping pay for the wedding, schedule a time to sit down and discuss your plan. Remember, its your wedding, but you need to respect the generosity of your parents and their part in the celebration. Get a binder and keep everything in there. Keep a calendar with a checklist. This is your wedding bible. Use it for everything. It will keep you focused, on track and will keep everyone in the loop. No stress- its all in black and white.
Now, you are prepared to start planning. Venue is the first thing you should book. If you have your heart set on a particular venue, get your date booked as soon as possible. And, if your date isn't available, try to be flexible on date or venue. Maybe you can move your wedding back or forward a week, maybe you can find a similar venue that is available. Don't stress. There are so many options.
Of course, you are going to want to go dress shopping. What bride hasn't dreamed of trying on dresses for her wedding? But, are you indecisive? Do you have trouble shopping, even for the simplest things and feel anxious about such a huge purchase? Have you never imagined yourself in a wedding dress? Do you have a body image struggle? Well, just relax! This does not have to be stressful. Maybe you can go get your hair and nails and make up done right before your appointment. Make yourself feel pretty. Don't put your hair in a messy bun and wear your oldest pair of sweats. Make this an occasion- because it is!! And, don't take your whole bridal party or every female relative with you- especially the first time. Go alone or with your mom or a trusted friend. This is an overwhelming experience on its own. Don't complicate it with too many opinions. There is plenty of time to share The Dress with everyone. Its your wedding, your dress- only your opinion matters!! And, finally, make an appointment. If you go into a bridal salon without one, you might feel like you aren't welcome or that they don't have time for you. An appointment makes this a special time- just for you.
Ok- you have the venue and you found the dress. The rest of the wedding hinges on these two things. Are you basing your wedding around a theme, a color or something special that you share as a couple? Pick one thing and build on it. Don't try to put too many ideas into it or your wedding will get overwhelming. Pinterest is a great resource, but keep your feet planted on the ground and don't just go crazy with all the pretty pictures. Keep your budget in focus. Keep your theme in focus. Only glean what works from the internet. This will keep you from getting confused, overwhelmed and over budget!!
THIS IS IMPORTANT- just because a venue has an exclusive caterer or a PREFERRED VENDOR LIST doesn't mean they are great or right for you. Many vendor lists are paid for, just like featured vendors on wedding websites. Don't assume, just because there is a star next to a vendor, or a vendor is "preferred" by a venue, that they are the best. Interview vendors, make a connection. Connecting with your vendors is SO important. DON'T BUY THE HYPE!
Here we are, the big stuff is done. Take a break. Get back to enjoying the engagement. Plan an engagement party. Celebrate with friends. Celebrate each other. Don't let wedding planning consume you. Plan a couple's weekend. Spend a day at a spa or just pamper each other a little. Life goes on and you don't want to lose yourself in this process.
Remember these things-
1. Weddings are not perfect. But, no one will know that something didn't get done, because only you know you wanted it. Don't stress over things that you can't make happen. And, don't stress over little mistakes. Your guests are there to celebrate you, not to critique the event.
2. Take time for yourself, away from planning. If you spend every waking hour obsessing over your wedding, by the time the day arrives, you will be too exhausted to enjoy it.
3. Ask for help. Your bridal party can help you address envelopes, run errands, keep you from falling apart and glue the bling on your DIY projects. Don't try to do it alone. That is what bridesmaids are for.
4. Take a deep breath and enjoy the day!!!! This is your wedding day- but, it is just that A DAY!! Enjoy the fact that your new life is begining and that your family and friends are there to celebrate with you. If it didn't get done- leave it alone!!!!! Nobody will care. There is no wedding disaster bigger than your love of each other. BE THE BRIDE!!
5. Hire a planner. It doesn't matter if you have a 10K budget or a $100K budget. A planner is your advocate, your right hand, the glue that holds the day together. If anything does go wrong, your planner will fix it. But, one word of caution- hire a professional, someone who knows the business, can jump into any hat and understands you and your vision. Day of planning is great. But, don't hire someone cheap who is only going to show up at your wedding or the week of. Nobody has that kind of talent. You can't do a job if you know nothing about the wedding. Hire someone who takes the time to get to know you, your vendors and your vision. That person will be able to navigate your day while you just enjoy it. In the end, you can relax, enjoy the day and know that someone has your back.
Now, meditate, take a yoga class, have a girl's weekend, read a good book, go to the beach. Just keep your feet on the ground, keep your expectations in check and remember- you are joining lives with this person. That should be the focus. Like my bride at the beginning of this article- plop on the floor in your gown and find your center. JUST ENJOY!!!
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