BLENDING CULTURES

One of the things I have always enjoyed about planning weddings is the opportunity to witness different cultures celebrating a marriage.  Blending those cultures is very commonplace, as couples are not always from the same part of the world, the same religion, the same race.  When you are planning your wedding, with a partner of a different culture, it is important to respect and include pieces of both cultures.  Whether incorporating traditions, ceremonies or foods from each, make sure you are not leaving out the things that make your marriage unique and special.  I have done lots of mulitcultural weddings over the years.  Here are three that really stand out as being all inclusive and respectful of both cultures.

Mike and Mimi wanted both families to feel special on their wedding day.  Mike is from a big Irish Catholic family and Mimi is Chinese.  Her family was also Catholic, so the ceremony was in a beautiful Gothic church in the Fairmount section of Philadelphia.  They decided to incorporate Mimi's Chinese heritage in the food and also with a tea ceremony with her parents.  Mimi wore a beautiful modern wedding gown for the ceremony, then they both donned traditional Chinese outfits for the reception.  There was a modified Chinese wedding banquet for dinner, which was very interesting to plan, as I learned what all the symbolism of each dish was.  And, we had Chef Joe Poon manning the wok- entertaining for the guests.  Everyone had a great time and both families felt included in the day.

Phi and Nhi are both Vietnamese. But, as the families came, one from North Viet Nam and one from south Viet Nam, this made for a challenging and very long day.  It also created some personal challenges for the couple, as both were from the same country, but from very different cultures within that country.   We started the day early and first headed to Phi's family home, where there was a traditional wedding ceremony.  The dining room was adorned with tributes to the ancestors and the boys lined up outside with gifts for the bride and her family.  Then it was off to a Catholic mass, said in Vietnamese.  And, finally to the groom's parent's home to officially welcome the bride into the family.  After all of the ceremony, it was off to a full on Chinese Wedding Banquet for 500 guests.  My biggest challenge of the day- making sure that only the invited guests were allowed to enter.  In this culture, invited guests often invite their own guests to accompany them.  I had a detailed list of who could and could not be ushered into the banquet.  At the end of the day, this was a very happy union.

Joy and Bob were joining the Thai and Korean cultures.  Their wedding ceremony had components of both cultures.  But, their wedding was a very modern affair.  Though many of Bob's female relatives wore traditional Korean garb, the bride and groom opted for a thoroughly modern take on their attire.  Even with this, the respect for the union of two cultures played an important part in the day.

There is no road map for blending cultures on your wedding day, or taking a tradition from your ancestors to make a statement about who you are and where you came from.  The important thing is to discuss it, know what each of you cares about and how you can celebrate the two families coming together.  I've learned plenty over the years about culutral components to a wedding and the traditions that go along with that.  As I said when I started this post, its one of the best things about this job.