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FROM THE PAST- WHY?

Within the pages of time and history are held many wedding traditions.    Some we still do and others we discard for our own traditions- or because they make no sense.  But, even as weddings have changed and brides put their own spin on things, wedding traditions are a part of every couples' special day.  So, at this time of year when there are so many newly engaged, I thought it would be fun to tell you about where these traditions began.

The Rings:  The ancient Romans believed that a vein led directly from the third finger of the left hand to the heart.   So, that is why your wedding band goes on that finger.   Engagement rings- or diamonds specifically, are a 20th century phenomenon, capitalized on by DeBeers - A Diamond Is Forever.   Until the 1930's, a diamond ring was not typically the choice for a betrothal.  Though diamonds were popular among the very wealthy from the time of the Renaissance, it was not until DeBeers concocted this marketing plan and the availability of diamonds was far more widespread.   Until then, it was more typical for a bride to be to be given a gold ring as a promise to marry or, in the early Colonial times, a thimble, as jewelry was shunned by the Puritans.  

The Bouquet:  Though you will most likely be carrying a lush, aromatic cluster of your favorite flower on your wedding day, this is not what you would have carried in ancient times.  The bridal bouquet was carried for survival- literally!   A bride would carry a bunch of garlic and dill to protect her from getting the plague on her way to the altar.  Later, herbs would be carried as a symbol of renewal and to ward off evil spirits.   Flowers were introduced by Queen Victoria.   As for throwing the bouquet- this tradition grew out of the fact that during medieval times, it was customary for the guests to chase after the couple after the ceremony in order to assure that the marriage was consummated.   The wedding guests would tear at the bride's dress for a piece of it as good luck for their own marriage.  So, in an effort to escape the crowds, the bride would throw her garlic and herbs at the crowd, in hopes that they would chase after that instead of her.   In another related tidbit, the garter toss grew out of this same notion.   It was customary for the guests to invade the bed chamber of the couple and toss their tockings around.  It was said that whomever wound up with these things, was the next to be married. 

Photo Courtesy BG Productions

Of Maids and Men:  Bridesmaids originated as bait for the evil spirits that were said to be after the bride.  The brides friends were dressed identically to the bride and sent forth to fool the evil spirits as to who the REAL bride was.   The Victorians had all the girls dressed in white with short veils.   It was not until much later that the "bridesmaid dress" was born.   In ancient times, the Best Man was the lucky guy who got to accompany the groom when he went to "kidnap" his bride.  If any harm came to the groom, the best man would defend him- to the death, if necessary.   

 And The Bride Wore White:  Well, not always!  White wedding gowns did not become popular until Queen Victoria married her beloved Albert.  Until then, the bride wore her Sunday best- even if it was black.   There was no designated wedding gown.   The veil, was more like a shroud- to protect the bride from those evil spirits lurking at the wedding site.  It was also a means of keeping an unsuspecting groom from seeing his "arranged" betrothed before it was an accomplished fact that they were married.   The length of the veil denoted the wealth of the family.  The longer the veil, the bigger the dowry.   

Wedding Cake:  The wedding cake is another tradition that was born our of superstition.   In ancient times, it was bread and not cake that was used.  The bread was broken into tiny pieces and strewn over the bride's head to ensure that she understood that the groom was in charge and to bring good fortune to the couple.   Later, guests would bring small cakes or sweet rolls to the wedding banquet.  These cakes were stacked as high as possible to see if the couple could kiss over them without knocking them down.   A prosperous life was their good fortune if they succeeded.    In the early 1700's a clever baker took the idea of a stacked cake and is credited with producing the first real wedding cake.    Other fun facts about wedding cakes- Royal Icing was coined when Queen Victoria had her cake iced in white.   Eating the crumbs was considered good luck and if you didn't eat a piece of the wedding cake, it was considered rude.   Saving the cake top for a year- that came from the superstition that saving the wedding cake ( which at that time was made with candied fruits and laced with wine) would ensure that you would not have marital trouble later on.   And, cutting the cake as a couple- that was a practical thing,  When all those stacked cakes got to be too heavy for the bride to cut alone, the groom had to help with the process.   

Ladies On The Left:   This is one of my favorites and something I tell EVERY bridal party at rehearsal.   In medieval times, it was probable that the men would have to defend their ladies against marauders.  So, they needed their right arm and hand free to draw their swords.   Thus, when you are part of a wedding party or getting married- ladies take the left arm of the men.  

Something Old, Something New...:    This is something that most brides still enjoy doing.  Something old, a family treasure, worn to honor your past.   Something new, worn to welcome your future with your new husband.  Something borrowed, traditionally from someone who is happily married so that her luck will rub off on your new marriage.   And, something blue, the symbol of fidelity and true love.   And, that penny in your shoe-to bring prosperity to your union and good luck.  Often, it was made into a piece of jewelry after the wedding.  


So, now you know.   And, as you plan your happily ever after, think about the fun of knowing where some of these traditions came from.  Happy Planning!     

                 

JACQUELINE AND MIRKO: A BEAUTIFUL DAY

Saturday, September 28, 2013- a magical day for this incredible couple AND for me!  In almost 13 years of planning weddings, I have never been so captivated by a bride.   I LOVE every bride I have helped and I have grown attached to many of them.    But, this couple, and Jacqueline in particular, just had something that left me at a loss for words!  

 

The day began with a flurry of activity along with more love and giddiness than I can say.   The bridal suite at Le Meridian was jam packed with friends of the bride, the bridal party,  Beautiful Brides Philly, Gerard Tomko Photography, Lucky Productions,  several little ones and Jacqueline- making sure that her mom, her sister and her best friend were feeling included.   And, everyone was fussing over the bride!   


 These two families literally came from all over the map to join in the celebration of Jacqueline and Mirko's wedding.  Mirko's family came from Germany, Jacqueline's father came from Italy, mom came from California and I lost track of all the other places that guests arrived from.   But, they were all her to be a part of this special day.   

Jacqueline's best friend, since they met in daycare, went out for protein bars and yogurt.  Jacqueline's mom had her ipad out and was showing photos of the girls growing up and how Jacqueline always wanted to be "shrouded" in her veil.   I guess some little girls really do carry out their childhood dreams.   

The day could not have been more perfect.  The sun was shining, it was warm and we were on time!    Jerry took the couple off for formal shots and I set to work.   There were so many details that needed to be placed- from two big boxes of pillars to unwrap and place in the library for the ceremony, to the homemade jam jars that doubled as escort cards that needed to be arranged, to the family tree as a guest book and the family photos to be displayed.   I had dads to pin and family to gather in the lobby for photos and Jacqueline got dirty outside, so I had to get out my baby wipes and clean her up.   

The ceremony was just beautiful and officiated by a dear friend of the family.  The whole thing was so personal and tender.  There were tears of joy and plenty of love to go around.  And, it was translated into several languages.   As were the programs and the menu cards.    

 

 One of my favorite things on Saturday was Mirko helping me to bustle the dress!!  I was so glad that Jacqueline's sister was there to snap this photo!!  

 Jacqueline and Mirko took dance lessons for their first dance at Society Hill Dance Academy.  It was perfectly executed and very touching.   I keep saying that.  but, I am telling you, this couple was SO connected!!!  It was also elegant and almost regal.  Just look at her!

       

  The tables were all named after the places the couple have traveled.   Each table had a photo of the couple taken in the country or city and Jacqueline made all the frames.   Besides being beautiful, she is so talented and VERY smart!!   

EBE Talent provided the DJ and Amanda and Ryan were amazing!  There was not a time all night that the dance floor was empty.   Everyone had a wonderful time.   And, even though Jacqueline requested no conga line, her mom and her friends had other ideas.   It didn't seem to phase our bride.   She is so gracious and sweet that nothing could have dampened her day.  

  As Mirko is German, Jacqueline wanted to perform a German marriage tradition.  This is usually performed during the ceremony, but for obvious reasons, they decided to do it during the reception.   In Germany, the couple saws a log to ensure they will be able to work a team in their marriage to overcome the obstacles that befall them.   This is the first of those obstacles- to saw through a log.      And, even the way they cut their gluten free cake was special.   No doubt they will be a fabulous team!  

 

   I could keep posting pictures of these two, but this is getting long.  I really wish I had some of the professional shots to share.  Well, maybe later.  I will share with you a slice of the party that I videoed on my phone.  It is a perfect way to end this post!  I can't tell you how I loved this couple.  I was mesmerized by her all day and it was a truly magical wedding- like out of a story book.  Jacqueline was the quintessential princess.  

GATSBY DIDN'T WEAR SNEAKERS

The Great Gatsby is being redone and due to be released in March.   And, Downton Abbey is already creating an excitement for brides to re- create that look.   The new craze for the 1920's inspired wedding has brought designers to create dresses reminiscent of the period and Pinterest boards to be bursting with pictures of these dresses and more.   I started out thinking I would do a post on this trend, but in my research, I found that the whole idea of a "vintage" wedding gets mixed into a crazy combination of retro ( 50's - 60's), romantic and just plain anything that isn't new.   I also found brides in platform shoes and dresses with pickups.  And grooms in cardigans, sneakers and no jackets.    You might also want to know that old movie tickets, coke bottles and chalk boards are NOT authentic reproductions of the time period.   Vintage is not all inclusive.  

So, I decided to write my post on what IS the 1920's inspired wedding instead.     

  The 1920's, if you watch TV, read or have seen The Great Gatsby, was a time of great opulence.   The war was over, prohibition was lining pockets with money- ill-gotten as it was and people, especially women, were feeling their way and spreading their wings.   Weddings was becoming big business!   The wedding industry began to grow and break into pieces- the caterers, the designers, the makers of dreams.   Fashion was changing, hems were rising and corsets and layers of clothing were for your grandmother.   Brides of the 1920's were wearing simpler and shorter dresses and opting for dressing their heads in a more dazzling way, so as to feminize their shorter haircuts.   The bob was the craze and the cloche veil or hat was the sign of the times.  Wreaths of flowers were also in fashion, as were jeweled headbands and feathers.   And, elbow length opera gloves were worn by most brides.   They were made with a button at the wrist so that the hand could be slipped out and the wedding ring could be placed on her finger.

        

A chemese or tube dress was popular at this time.  Dresses were also designed with intricate panels in the front and back or with geometric patterns.   They were sometimes heavily beaded all over or they were very simple, adorned with lace or embroidery.   Tea length or ankle length dresses were seen most often and dresses had petal hems, were cut on the bias and had lower waists with the train falling from the shoulder.    The dresses here by designers like Jenny Packham, BHLDN and in the Etsy shops, are very modern recreations of the originals.  

 

At the time, everyone dressed for dinner- even the help.   So, no groom would show up to his wedding wearing a sweater and no tie- or sneakers!  White tie and tails and a top hat were the order of the day, especially for such a momentous occasion.   Shiny shoes and even spats were worn by the men.   The ladies wore silk shoes, often with bows or other embellishment.    This stunning dress by Matthew Christopher is very Gatsby!       

 As you can see, this was a very elegant and proper time and one where everyone practiced etiquette and the utmost of manners and grace.   A wedding dinner would have been an afternoon tea in the garden or an elegant dinner with all the finest of china and such.   There would have been candles and spectacular centerpieces with calla lilies and ostrich feathers.   Black and white was a popular color palette at the time, as was gold and jewel tones, in keeping with the Art Deco period.   There would not have been a beer bottle or a BBQ.              

Here is a little interesting tidbit I found in my research.   The engagement ring changed too.   More ornate, square and in a unique setting, it was coupled with a matching wedding band.   Rings were made more in white gold or platinum. 

Now, when you start to plan your 1920's, Gatsby wedding, you will have all the right inspiration to do it the way your great grandmother would have done it.   You may even want to wear her dress or veil.    

    

THEY CALL IT WITCHCRAFT

Are you an edgy bride with a hint of mystery? Then, you will love these witchcraft- inspired wedding gowns from Vera Wang. Paired with dramatic bouquets, you can make a stunning statement on your wedding day.

One of the trends for 2012 is the influence of the two movies retelling the story of Snow White. A rustic and woodsy design, shown here in these natural florals, combining herbs, natural elements and decadent flowers such as dahlias and black magic and abracadabra roses, will surely put a spell on your groom and your guests. Pair these smashing details with a forest of trees for a canopy and long tables with ambient lighting and lacy linens in a country estate and... PRESTO! You have a magical wedding! Now, live Happily Ever After!!

Bouquets courtesy of Martha Stewart Weddings and The Knot