GUEST BLOGGER: KYE HARMAN- THE GROOM'S SURVIVAL GUIDE

Now while you might well be wondering how one apparently small question could have such massive repercussions just bare in mind what this day means to the lovely lady in question. Most guys have never really given much thought to their future wedding but for many women it is a day they have pictured from their earliest memory. When you were scuffing your new school shoes chasing a ball your bride-to-be was already dreaming of her future Prince Charming (although at the time he was probably wearing a cape rather than your favourite trainers and T-shirt). It’s an over used phrase that it’s the most special day in a girl’s life but it is true. And what’s more she expects it to hold the same significance for you. So while she’s buying a newsstand’s entire stock of wedding magazines and showing you the 27 different ways she’s thinking of wearing her hair she’s hoping that thoughtful look on your face relates to your own ideas for the wedding rather than whether you’ll get to sneak out for a quick 18 holes this weekend rather than go to yet another wedding fair. Oh yeah… and she’ll wear a dress that will cost the price of a small family car. And then never ever wear it again.

Communication is key. Despite your beloved now having turned into bridezilla, in the words of Rudyard Kipling you need to “keep your head when all about you are losing theirs”. She IS going to get stressed. She IS going to get upset. You WILL have arguments concerning the wedding day. All this is perfectly natural and doesn’t mean you love each other any less it just means you’re planning a wedding and researchers say this is one of the most stressful events in a persons life. Especially for the bride.

One of the biggest complaints brides have is that their husband-to-be doesn’t seem to get involved enough or show enough interest. Yes there is an impossible list of questions to get through; What kind of flowers? What colour tie? What gifts do you get the bridesmaids? Should you sit Cousin Albert near the door in case he has one of his “moments”? While it’s true that what font you use on the place settings isn’t going to end world hunger or bring about piece in the Middle East these small details can make all the difference on the big day so get involved. Your wedding should be an extension of your personalities with all the quirks and idiosyncrasies that make the two of you so different. That doesn’t mean you have to dress as Smurfs or walk down the aisle to Iron Maiden but it means you should both be have a say in how you want the day to play out.

But you will need help to. Any bride has a whole support network buzzing around her keen to help out at every step and dress fitting. Us guys are never quite as willing to look for help but it’s not a bad idea to have someone on hand you can call when you need to head on a “fact finding mission” of you own to the nearest watering hole. Make sure your best man is the right man for the job who will sit with you and help you let off some steam when you need and also be the kind of friend that can help take some of the load off your shoulders when it comes to researching cars, musicians, DJ’s, etc.

So don’t just sit back ignoring the chaos, it isn’t going to go away and you’ll only add to the bride’s stress levels and if you bury your head for too long you might wake up on the day to find you’re travelling to the church in a pink stretch limo in a lime green suit. Make decisions, enjoy the process because despite some of the potential sticking points it should be enjoyable. After all this is going to be the most significant day of your lives, its your big day too.

Thanks to Kye Harman, at Simply the Best Man, for always giving the guys their fair share of the attention!

RANDI MARTIN: GUEST BLOGGER

This is so clever that I had to share! While checking the Facebook status of my many industry "friends" today, I happened on this little gem! Thanks, Randi, of Always Fabulous Events, for agreeing to guest blog this. As Randi and I both know, planning your wedding is no time for cutting corners when it comes to the quality help of a great wedding planner. We are the "insurance policy" to a flawless and stress- free day for you and your family and friends. We all have our own style and we all have our specialties. Randi is also a travel agent, so she can plan your destination wedding or your honeymoon. She is very clever at bridal showers ( and baby showers) and other milestone events. And, she has a "boutique" on her site. While I am more of a hands on, personal assistant to the bride ( who only does weddings). But, the one thing that is certain with all of us- YOUR WEDDING IS OUR FOCUS! So, if you are this woman, or any bride planning her big day, get yourself a planner! It isn't a luxury, it's a necessity.



She is in her 30s. She is college-educated and career-minded, but she has an active social life. She drinks Starbucks coffee every morning and martinis/cosmos when she goes out with her gal pals at night. She has great fashion sense and always looks great... even on "fat days". She is a "foodie" (that means she loves to eat fabulous food and doesn't mind trying new dishes).

Her parents have worked hard to maintain a high standard of living so their children would have the best that life can offer, but she is focused on making a name for herself in the business world. Because her education and career have been her focus for so long, she has waited to get married and start a family.

She is recently engaged and wants to have the best wedding anyone has ever seen. Her challenge is that she doesn't have enough time in her busy schedule to plan the wedding alone. She knows having a wedding planner is essential and wants to hire someone who reflects her personal style.